Do you love to laugh? How about making others laugh? Well this is the contest for you! YOU can win two tickets to the Jeff Dunham concert by submitting your most hilarious (clean) joke to one of our social networking profiles. All you have to do is send your joke in a message to either the Rose Quarter Facebook,Twitter or Myspace page between now and Friday (October 30). On Friday we will randomly select ten of the jokes to be voted on by the public. Voting will go from Friday to Monday at noon. The winner of the Jeff Dunham tickets will be announced on Monday November 2 at 1:00p. Any inappropriate, or vulgar jokes will be disqualified immediately from the contest.
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A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
How do you catch a unique rabbit??
U kneek up on it…lol
How do you top a car???
U tep on the break tupid…lol
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What do gay horses eat?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
What does PETA now stand for?
people eating tasty animals
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Three mice die and go to heaven. When they get there GOD ask them what they would like. The three mice say “Can we have skateboards so we can get around easier?” GOD says sure here you go.
About a week later a cat dies and goes to Heaven. GOD asks “How is everything going?” The cat says “Great. I especially like the meals on meals.”
How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
WHY THE HECK DO YOU CARE!?!?!
I agree with comedian Richard Jeni about the song “A Horse With No Name”–you’re in the desert, you got nothing to do. NAME THE HORSE.
A man whose town was flooded sat on his roof, convinced that God would save him. A rescue helicopter came, but he would not get on it. He shouted, “God will save me! I do not need your help!” The water rose higher, and a boat came up to his house. Again he would not leave, and shouted that God would save him. The waters rose higher, touching the eaves of his house, and another boat came; for a third time, he would not leave, secure in his faith that God would save him. He drowned, and when he got to Heaven, he confronted God, saying, “Why didn’t you save me?”
God said, “I sent a helicopter and two boats, what did you want?”
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Freedom of speech my friend, that’s why
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Hello! Do you have some news you want to contribute to and that you believe our readers might also find interesting? We are planning to open our blog in a few weeks and I have already bookmarked some of your posts. Best wishes, Peter
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Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar