Rose Quarter Blog

Below are the ten randomly selected jokes to be voted on by you! Following the ten jokes is a link to the poll where you can vote. The poll will have the joke # as the answer so refer to the following list in order to make your decision. May the best joke WIN!

1. What do you call a car that drives under water? a scubaru

2. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

3. Did you hear about that new movie called Constipation? No? That’s cause it hasn’t come out yet!

4. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, ‘especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.’

Dumbfounded, her date asked, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!

5. A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

6. A blonde calls her husband and says i can’t get this puzzle to go together.
the husband asks “what is the picture on the puzzle box”
the blonde replies “it is a tiger”
the husband walks into the room, sees the box, and says “don’t worry about it, grab a coffee and come help me put the frosted flakes back in the box.”

7. What did the meatloaf say when the oven said “I love you”? I loaf you too!

8. A man whose town was flooded sat on his roof, convinced that God would save him. A rescue helicopter came, but he would not get on it. He shouted, “God will save me! I do not need your help!” The water rose higher, and a boat came up to his house. Again he would not leave, and shouted that God would save him. The waters rose higher, touching the eaves of his house, and another boat came; for a third time, he would not leave, secure in his faith that God would save him. He drowned, and when he got to Heaven, he confronted God, saying, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God said, “I sent a helicopter and two boats, what did you want?”

9. Did you hear, the energizer bunny was arrested. he was charged with battery.

10. I am a percussionist and my section kept making mistakes, The conductor got really mad and proceeded to say, ” When your too stupid to play an actual instrument, they give you two sticks put you in the back and call you a percussionist,”
After this, I retorted , ” Yeah, and when you can’t hold on to both sticks, they put you upfront and call you a conductor.”

Use this link to vote for your favorite:  http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/2197507/